sms naughtyppl: September 2011

Pledge of BOYS

Pledge of BOYS - India is our nation,girls r our destination, dating is our occupation, flirting is our proffesion,to hell with education.

A mobile is like women

A mobile is like women :- TALKS NON-STOP, COSTS A FORTUNE, DISTURBS WHEN UR BUSY AND WHEN U NEED THEM URGENTLY THEY HAVE NO SERVICE.

Aamir

Aamir
lady drinking coke, machar falls in .
lady take it out ,
machar says ;maaaaaaaa
lady ask why u did u call me maaaaaaaaaaaa
machar says mien teri kook(COKE) se nikla hon maaaaaaaaaaaaa

3 sardar

3 sardar where going on a motor cycle. policeman gives hand to stop sardar shouted oye pehle hi teen bhete hai tu kaha bethega...! sonu Burhanpur

terrorists have kidnapped our lecturers

terrorists have kidnapped our lecturers... and demanded aransom of 500000 rs or else they will burn them with kerosene... plz donate. i have donated 15 litres.

Patient to Doc

Patient to Doc: Aapne nurse bahut achhi rakhi hai, uska haath lagte hi main theek ho gaya.
Doctor: Jaanta hu, thappad ki awaaz mujhe bhi sunai di thi.

Tumhary saath kia masla hy?

Tumhary saath kia masla hy?
har wakt pregnent rehti ho
jab bhi tumhain sms kia
tumhari delivery report aa jati hy

Ques...Bharat ka sabse

Ques...Bharat ka sabse bada pralay ka din kaun sa hoga.?
Ans...Jis din rakhi ---*---
aur friendship day ---!!---
ek saath padeg

kal main ne hawksbay per dekkha

kal main ne hawksbay per dekkha, 4 addmi ne eik saat sumander main chalang lagaye magar sirf eik ke baal
gheley howe
ye kase mumkin hain
baqi 3 ganje they

A man on wife's BIRTHDAY

A man on wife's BIRTHDAY had no money,so he sent a cheq 100 kisses.When he returned home his wife said
"THANKZ 4 CHEQ I GOT IT CASHED 4M BANK MANAGER"

Newtons Law of Romance

Newtons Law of Romance
LOVE CAN NEITHER BE CREATED NOR BE DESTROYED,
IT CAN ONLY BE CHANGED FROM
ONE GIRL FRIEND TO ANOTHER.

After de death of EMRAN HASHMI

After de death of EMRAN HASHMI what will be written on his grave "DONOT DISTURB" Soney de SAALE ko
pehli baar to akela so raha hai!

Wife:Suno j i mujhe new brazier lenaa hai

Wife:Suno j i mujhe new brazier lenaa hai
Husband:Brazier ki kya zarorat hai itne chotay chotay tu haim
Wife:kal tumne underwear liya mai kuch boli....

Survey Subject:

Survey Subject:In how many days a 1000 pgs book cn b read.
Writer-6months, Doctor-2mnths, Lawyer-1month, STUDENT-ON THE NIGHT B4 THE EXAM

3 Fastest means of communication

3 Fastest means of communication
1 : Tele-Phone
2 : Tele-Vision
3 : Tell-a-women
Need still faster?
Tell her not 2 tell any1..

A girl & her grandma were sitting in the balcony

A girl & her grandma were sitting in the balcony. Girl shouted to her mother[who was inside]"mom, Tom cruise
is coming"
Mother:"you come inside"
Few minutes later Girl shouted, "mom, Clinton is coming"
Mother:"Ask your Grandma also to come inside

ladhki k baap ne

ladhki k baap ne vidhai k time dulha se kaha:
"Beta ab humari izzat tumare haath mai hai"
Dulha: Pareshaan mat ho aaj he loot longa"

Mere dardon

Mere dardon ki tuje aesi saza miley'
Mere dardon ki tuje aesi saza miley'
tuje bohot zor se susu aye!!!!
or kahi karne ki jaga na miley

Teacher

Teacher:Bachon wada kro kabhi sharab,cigrette nahi piyo ge
Bachey:Nahi piyenge
Teacher:Girls ka peecha nai karoge
Bachey:Nahi karenge
Teacher:Unn par awaaze nai kaso ge
Bachey: nahi kasenge
Teacher:Watan par zindigi qurbaan karo ge
Bachey:Kardenge,aesi zindigi ka karna bhi kya hai.

Aeroplane ask rocket:

Aeroplane ask rocket:Yaar tum mujse tez kese bhaagte ho
Rocket said: Jiski G---D mai aag lagi ho wo he jaane.

Mobile repair karne waale

Mobile repair karne waale ko agar loose motion ho jaye to wo doctor ko kese xpalain karega?
DOCTOR sahab subah se missed calls aa rahi hai,outgoing mai takleef ho rahi hai,subah se naye naye
ringtones baj rahe hai,or pait mai balance nahi bach raha hai,jitna bhi recharge karo jaldi kharch ho jata
hai:-)

2 Ghadhe

2 Ghadhe{donky}apas main bateen kar rahe thay.1st yar mera malik bohat zalim hay.bohat marta hay kaam
b zyada leta hay.2ndto tum bhag jao na is ko chood ke.1st yar bhag to jaon per ik waja se ruka hoon.mera
malik jab b apni BETI se ladayi karta hay na.to us ko ye kehta hy ke beti tum sudher jao warna main ney teri
shadi GADHE se kar deni hay.

baap bachay

baap bachay ki khatnay maire ghar par hoogi,maaa nahi maire maike mein hogi,bachaa khatnay kaheen bhi
hoo khaal bush ko hee jaeygi

Ek molvi apne wife

Ek molvi apne wife say:jab main mar jaoun thu samny wali ko zarour bulana.wife:who kion? molvi:who murdy
su lipt lipt kr roti hy

EK CHOTA SARDAR

EK CHOTA SARDAR APNI PRAGNANT MUMMY SE POCHTA HAIN K IS MEIN KIYA HAIN,, MUMMY BOLTI HAIN,IS
MEIN PYARA BABY HAIN,SARDAR,PIYARA THAA TU AP KHAAA Q GAEY,.

Sardar

Sardar : goes to police station and complains to police... Koi mujhe phone pe dhamkatha hai.
Police : kon phone karke dhamkatha hai.(Copyright www.lovelysms.com)
Sardar :Airtel wale bolthe hai Bill nahi bhara tho "KATH DENGE"

Wife

Wife:"Tum Mujh Se Kitna Pyar Karte Ho?"
Husband:"Shahjahan Jitna."
Wife:"Mere Marnay Ke Baad TAJ MAHAL Banao Gay?"
Husband:"Main Nein To Plot Bhi Le Liya Hai,DELAY To Tum Kar Rahi Ho!!!

Husband asks,

Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
It means...Without Information Fighting Everytime!
WIFE satys No, it means -
With Idiot for Ever

1 sardar ulta

1 sardar ulta nanga leta hota hai 1 naughty boy ata hai aur uski ASS per tabla baja ker chala jata hai is per
sardar ulta hota hai aur kehta hai "ae ley hun bansri vi vaja le"

tum ne mere tan se khela

um ne mere tan se khela
tum ne mere mann se khela
well played oye well played

Ek ladka ek ladki

Ek ladka ek ladki k saath baitha tha. 2nd day doosri ladki k saath deha gaya. 3rd day koi aur ladki thi. 4th
day kisi nayi ladki ke saath tha (copyright www.lovelysms.com)
Moral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badaltey
UBAID remeber me

Husband

Husband: U know, wife, our son got his brain from me.
Wife: I think he did, I've still got mine with me

Waiter:

Waiter: Would you like your coffee black? ,
Customer: What other colors do you have?

frog:tumhare pas dimag nahi hai

frog:tumhare pas dimag nahi hai
srdar:hai
frog:nahi hai
sardar:hai
frog:nahi hai,and jumps into a well
sardar-ismey sucide karne wali konsi baat thi

Teacher: what do u wish to do in future

Teacher: what do u wish to do in future ?
Ali : I want 2 b pilot.
Hasan : Iwant 2 b docter
sana I want 2 b mother
Abid : !want 2 help

Bus Me 1 Khusra,Or us ki back side par,

Bus Me 1 Khusra,Or us ki back side par,
Ek baba ji thay....
Pechy se kisi sharir larky na..
Khusry ko ungli charha di,
Or khud pechy hat gia ....
Khusry nay pichy mur kar baby se kaha,
Baba ji main sadky Ay miss call tusi diti ay?
Baby nay apni DOTI utha kar kaar kaha,
Nahi Ballo! Mera tey Balance ei khatam Ay

Newtons First Law of Ishq

Newtons First Law of Ishq
a boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl
in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, untill on unless
any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and
break the legs of the boy.

Newtons 2nd law of ishq

Newtons 2nd law of ishq
the rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is
directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and
the direction of this love is same to as increament or decreament of the
bank balance

Newtons First Law of ishq

Newtons First Law of ishq
the force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite
to the force applied by the girl while using her sandals

ek chote se bachche

ek chote se bachche ko roj rat main susu lagti thi to uski mamai ne kaha beta jab tere ko susu lage to bol diya kar ki mughe gana gana hai to mai samagh jaugi , ek bat uska papa wah papa ke sath soya to rat me bolta hai papa gana gana hai papa bola beta rat main nahi gate hain per jab ladka na mana to bap bola acha dheere se kaan main ga de..

boy says to girl

boy says to girl main tum ko without tuch kiya kiss karoo ga ....girl says ye to ho hi nahi sakta....boy says to lag hai 20 20 rupay ki .... girl says ok....boy kissed girl titely....girl says tum ne to mujay tuch kiya hai .....boy say ye loo 20 rupay

Teacher

Teacher:There is a frog,Ship is sinking,potatoes cost Rs 3/kg .
Then,what is my age?
STUDENT:32 yrs.
Teacher:How do you know?
STUDENT:Well,my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.

Teacher

Teacher :Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student:A HOLIDAY

SOME LADY WENT TO BAR

SOME LADY WENT TO BAR, AND SIT ON BARTABLE IN FRONT OF BARMAN. OTHE GUY SIT ON THE LET HAND SIDE AND OTHE MAN SIT ON RIGHT ON SIDE. THE ONE WHO SIT ON THE LEF, SAY" JOHNNY WARKER SINGLE AND THE ATHER ON THE RIGHT SAY" JACK DANNIEL SINGLE. SO, THE THE BARMAN, LOOK THE LADY, SAID" AND 'U'" LADY SAID. MARIA MOKWENA AND MARRIED.

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